


Saying Goodbye has never hurt so much

by Lordofdeathn



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, Angst, F/F, God i hate myself now, im sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-10
Updated: 2015-07-10
Packaged: 2018-04-08 16:26:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4312209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lordofdeathn/pseuds/Lordofdeathn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nothing's harder then saying goodbye for the last time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Saying Goodbye has never hurt so much

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Jude81](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jude81/gifts).



'No" Clarke whimpers, as her Wife slumps to the ground, back against the wall in the cold, wet and dark alleyway they have found themselves in. But that's not what Clarke's worried about, no, she's worried about the open, infected wound on Lexa's arm, that won't stop bleeding. Clarke's heart falls so hard and fast it basically shatters. It's high on the arm, to high. There's only two things that can happen now. And Clarke doesn't know if she could survive either. 

She saved her life, if Clarke had watched her back, for once, it wouldn't have grabbed her, Lexa wouldn't have needed to save her, and in turn, wouldn't be dying. She crouches down, stripping off a peace of her clothing and wrapping the wound. "Maybe you'll be fine...your strong. You'll be okay" Clarke's voice breaks between the tears, hopeless sayings escaping her lips. Lexa's a goner. and they both know it. 

A sad smile graces her wife's features, eyes filmy in the tears she's holding back but not because of the pain, but because she needs to say goodbye, to the girl who she loves so much. She caresses her cheek, wiping away the tears falling from the blue eyes she's loved since high school several years ago. Ones she's gotten lost in more then once. "Your going to be OK Clarke" She keeps her voice strong, She knows what needs to be done, she can't be weak, She will be strong for Clarke this one last time. 

"I can't lose you, I've lost so much, I.Can't.Lose.You" She knows she will though, and she doesn't know how she will move on, if she can in the first place. She can't say goodbye,Can't lose the last person she loves. it will destroy her. But she will live on, so what Lexa did will not be wasted. Her eyes and sour and blurry, tears long since forgotten. Even Lexa is starting to cry but she won't break. 

"You can, and you will. but you will survive this Clarke" The way she says her name has always made Clarke feel special, the roll of the L and the pop of the K, like its something Exotic "You are strong, stronger then you think Clarke, i know you will be fine. But you know what you need to do" Lexa's hand drops from Clarke's cheek, not by choice, but by simple lack of energy as it starts draining from her. 

"I Can't...no...Please don't leave me..You Promised you would stay" The whimpers and sobs from Clarke break Lexa's heart. She wishes she could stay, just so she can hold the Blonde one last time. To protect her against this cruel world and keep her safe, but she can't, the only silver lining is she managed to get Clarke another chance, to keep surviving. Clarke leans her forehead onto Lexa's hands cupping her face, eyes staring straight into Lexa's and the hurricane of pain inside them sends tears down Lexa's face.

"I will always be with you Clarke, no matter how cheesy it sounds. I will always be watching you" Lexa can feel a hollowness fill her, but she doesn't know if its the infection, or the reality she will never hold the girl again, never feel her soft skin under her touch, never wake up with the warmth of her body stuck to hers. Never hear her name said with such love that saying it alone warms her heart. This girl who showed her love was not weakness, who filled her days with bright light that she could have sworn the blonde was glowing, that she was perfect. She would never see the Princess of her story again and that destroyed her more then the disease. ]

The smile that Lexa puts on causes memories to flash. Their first meeting, fresh man year of high school. Clarke was instantly attracted, Lexa walked into her, knocking her books to the ground by accident, when they had picked them up, Lexa muttering apologies, they met eye to eye and both fell in love. Love at first sight was not as fake as they thought. Clarke to satisfaction and pride in breaking down Lexa's walls. And stealing her heart while simultaneously having hers stolen. 

The next is their first date, Lexa being a complete sap organised the whole thing, picnic on a cliff under the stars, when Lexa looked up and the moon shined of her features Clarke knew she was a goner. The next, Prom, When she remembers hearing Lexa's breath hitch in tandem with her own as they both stared at each other, taking in the others beauty. The last two are her most treasured. The night Lexa proposed on the Eiffel tower, under a beautiful display of Fireworks and to the gentle hum of Lexa whispering sweet words. And the last, her wedding day, the happiest day of her life when she proclaimed her life to Lexa's. Gave her everything with no regrets. her gentle touch, the soft way she looked at Clarke as if she was the reason the son rises. Doubling her the nickname of 'Heart eyes". How do you say goodbye to your soulmate?. 

Clarke pulled out her knife, no guns, she would bring attention to herself, but she couldn't decide if the fate they bring will be better to the life she will have after this, if any at all. "I love you...So much Lexa" She whimpers, heart tightening so hard she struggles to breath. But she will do this, not for her. But for Lexa, she won't let the Commander of her heart become a flesh eating monster; She will grant her this one last wish. 

"I love you to Clarke,princess of my heart" She looks into the soulful blue. Which stare into her strong green. Clarke leans in and kisses the soft lips, even when cold and chapped she still feels the tingle like it was their first. "I love you, Lexa, Commander of my heart". Lexa does.t even bother holding the tears as they fall, wetting both their cheeks as Clarke continues to kiss her for the last time. 

"May we meet again. Clarke" The words contain so much love and loss, strength and fear. "May we meet again, Lexa" She mumbles against her lovers lips. Before she slips the blade into her heart.

**Author's Note:**

> AHHH This had me in tears to write, i legit had to stop several times to get control, AHHH i hope you enjoyed this pain. Damn i hate myself right now. imma go watch some teletubbies or something make me feel better. YOUR FAULT JUDE,


End file.
